I Was Going Down on the Man I’m Seeing. That’s When He Gave Me a Very Unwanted “Surprise.”
He caught me completely off guard. How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Send it to Jessica and Rich here.
I’m a woman who has been seeing a guy, “Liam,” on and off for several months. Recently, while I was performing oral sex on him, Liam surprised me in a way I did not expect. He pulled away and ejaculated on my face without any prior discussion. It even got in my hair, forcing me to cut some off.
I am extremely upset that he didn’t ask for my consent beforehand. He apologized afterward, saying he assumed I would be okay with it because our sex life includes some BDSM elements. Liam also promised it wouldn’t happen again.
Is this a situation that should end the relationship?
He apologized and said he thought I would be fine with it since we incorporate a little bit of BDSM into our sex routines and promised it wouldn’t happen again.
Author's summary: Clear communication and consent are crucial in intimate moments, and violating this boundary can deeply affect trust and the future of a relationship.